University Challenge: Finding Your Crowd

Sadiyah writes about building a sense of belonging with people from similar ethnic backgrounds and finding your crowd at uni.

- Sadiyah

Starting university was always a scary jump from studying A-levels because the culture, environment, and people were completely different. It is that huge step that everyone talks about. I was excited but anxious about ‘where I would belong’ as university cultures are predominantly different from my beliefs, especially with the social scene revolving around drinking and partying. 

When I first started university, the buzz was incredible. Everyone was making new friends and diving into their new routines. But as the first few weeks flew by, I began to feel out of place. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my classes or couldn’t handle the workload; it was more about the social activities where people became friends. A lot centred around drinking, which isn’t my thing due to my culture and religion. 

Although my cohort was quite diverse, I didn’t encounter many people who shared my Pakistani background. This added another layer to my feelings of being outside of my comfort zone. Having dual nationality made things even more complex. On the one hand, I understood British culture and resonated with parts of it, but truly I longed for interactions with people of my own who understood my Pakistani heritage. 

This left a sense of discomfort because the beginning of freshers’ events and the boat party were all centred around those things. I found myself in situations where I felt awkward and had to explain why I wasn’t drinking. Trying to blend in while staying true to yourself was a strange feeling. It wasn’t about the alcohol; it was about finding people who understood my background of being British Pakistani and shared similar experiences. 

However, I did find some wonderful friends who made me feel like I belonged. They might not have shared my ethnic background, but they were open, understanding, and supportive. These friendships helped bridge a gap and made my university experience much more enjoyable. We found common ground in our interests, and being psychology students allowed us to support each other through the ups and downs of university life. 

Discussing mental health openly was a game changer. Being honest about my feelings and hearing others do the same made a vast difference. It showed me that I wasn’t alone and that it was okay to feel out of place sometimes. 

In the end, being a British-Pakistani student at university has had its challenges, but it’s also taught me a lot about resilience and finding my community. I found my place by reaching out, joining supportive networks, and staying open about my feelings. It wasn’t with people of my own, but this has been a journey of self-discovery and growth, and it’s made me appreciate the importance of inclusivity and mental health awareness in creating a supportive university environment for everyone. 

This blog was written as part of the U-Belong campaign to combat loneliness and isolation at university. To find out more, visit their website. You can also find support at Student Space.

My name is Sadiyah and I’m a second-year Psychology Student at City University of London. As a dedicated psychology student with a strong passion for clinical psychology, I joined the U-Belong campaign to contribute to developing practical guidance for university students struggling with loneliness. Through this experience, I aim to deepen my understanding of the psychological challenges students face and explore practical interventions. My involvement reflects my commitment to meaningfully impacting mental health support within the academic community, driven by a desire to foster a more inclusive and supportive university environment.

Breaking the Stigma

Members of the U-Belong Student Campaign team write about the link between low mood and loneliness … and how you can break the cycle. 

- Anonymous

We hear of low social battery, low energy, and how common mental health challenges are, but sometimes it is too normalised … to the point where we ‘normalise’ it in unhealthy ways. At times, this can lead us to avoid engaging with information that help us understand how we are feeling and things we can do to feel better. Learning to manage emotions and behaviours linked with the challenges and circumstances of university can drastically change your mindset and quality of life.  

Winter Blues

Different factors can affect low mood. For example, seasonal depression affects 1 in 3 people every year in the UK. The start of the academic year often coincides with darker, colder, and wetter days. Living with these cold weather conditions, we are more likely to be trapped within our emotions at home and have feelings of exhaustion, drainage and tiredness; sometimes for no reason at all. This can also contribute to feelings of loneliness and not feeling a part of a community because of feeling stuck in your own mind. Talking with a loved one, social support, and gradual exposure to social situations can help break this cycle and combat loneliness caused by these feelings.   

Managing Stress

We often have cycles and days we’re not ‘feeling it’ as a lot of people like to express it - meaning ‘I’m not in the mood and I’m too stressed out to even focus on one thing.’ And that’s okay. Find out what works for you. This might be creating a list of 2 things you want to get done by the end of the week. This can feel easier than setting yourself lists of tasks per day to complete. The trick here is to create a less overwhelming mind.   

 

Focus on the Positives 

Building happiness around and within us can help us feel better about the negatives in our lives. Writing can help to empty our minds. And remember, we are our biggest critics. You may be good at a specific recipe and being a good friend, but we tend to outweigh our strengths with the negatives - not being good at another recipe. It is not that it’s a negative, it’s a challenge yet to be overcome. And sometimes we don’t need to overcome it. We’re only human and as adults it’s important to constantly go through very slow and then very fast stages of life.  

This blog was written as part of the U-Belong campaign to combat loneliness and isolation at university. To find out more, visit their website. You can also find support at Student Space.

Written anonymously for UBelong and the Student Minds Blog.